Ocean's 8
You know how most films follow a pattern whereby they lead with exposition, move into rising action, hit the climax, then falling action, and finally resolution? Yeah, no, not this one. So, if you're into films that's basic structure reads "it begins and just kinda keeps going for 110 minutes," 2018's Ocean's 8 is for you!
Ocean's 8 follows a gang of all-female cons who set their sites on a MET Gala heist.
Hmm. That's not as long a summary as your usual ones, Hulm. Didn't Ocean's 11 feature a slightly sub-plot where Danny Ocean had a personal vendetta against Terry Benedict? Is his sister Debbie going to have a personal stake in her heist as well? Oh shoot, that's right, I forgot she does. Because it was terrible.
At the beginning of the film, a friend advises Debbie against the heist. "Sometimes it's just knowing it could be done..." I can't help wondering who ignored this advice at the Ocean's 8 pitch meeting. I was apprehensive of Hollywood ruining one of my favorite series, but I went in with high hopes, more than a little excited to see a group of female con artists led by Sandra Bullock. The good news is: they didn't ruin it. The bad news is: that's the best I can say about it. Danny wouldn't have loved it.
At the beginning of the film, a friend advises Debbie against the heist. "Sometimes it's just knowing it could be done..." I can't help wondering who ignored this advice at the Ocean's 8 pitch meeting.
Sandra Bullock is solid as ever in the leading role as "Debbie Ocean." Cate Blanchett is the Brad Pitt of this scenario and is fine I suppose, if you don't mind grating personalities. Anne Hathaway plays "Daphne Kluger," the stereotypical Hollywood starlet, somehow managing to be one of the most enjoyable people to have on screen. The rest of the team works well together, especially Mindy Kaling, whom I will never not love.
I was slightly afraid at first that an Ocean's gender swap would be a little bit preachy. To its credit, it strives to be mainly enjoyable, offering up only one line that doesn't really land. "A him gets noticed,” Ocean says. “A her gets ignored. For once, we want to be ignored.” Which literally* only makes sense, maybe, if you're talking about any place other than the MET Gala. Absolutely, women could be asked deeper questions on the red carpet other than "who are you wearing?" But to be fair to the reporters, I've never actually cared about the tuxes. Not even the ones with Tom Hiddleston in them. If there was any place for women to be noticed, it's a red carpet.
But I digress. The main problem I have with Ocean's 8 is that it's just boring. The pacing never really picks up and it never actually gets any more interesting than it's initial premise. It's not even worth getting started on the unbearably obvious cutaway shot that screams "plot twist!" There may have been more, but by that time I was begging for the sweet release of the credits. I mean, gosh, Ocean's 12 had a better twist AND THAT LITERALLY* MADE ITS WHOLE PLOT IRRELEVANT.
I don't know. Maybe Ocean's 8 is better than I give them credit for. They did steal my five dollars.
*(I know I used "literally" incorrectly here. But I "literally" need you to know how frustrating this is. Literally.)*